Suffering Grows When We Deny What We Can’t Control

Suffering doesn’t grow simply because we feel emotions.

It grows when we are pulled around by them,

while refusing to admit that we cannot stop them.

We tell ourselves we should be calmer.

More stable.

More in control.

But emotions don’t work that way.

Anger rises.

Anxiety appears.

Not because we chose them,

but because something inside us was touched.

The moment things begin to change is surprisingly simple.

“Right now, I’m feeling angry.”

“Anxiety is showing up.”

When we acknowledge that we cannot control the emotion itself,

a small distance appears—

between the emotion and who we are.

That distance matters.

Before, the emotion was me.

Now, it is something happening within me.

And from that moment on, choice becomes possible.

We may not be responsible for stopping an emotion from arising,

but we are responsible for how we respond to it.

We can choose whether to speak or stay silent.

Whether to act or pause.

Whether to turn against ourselves

or offer ourselves a moment of understanding.

This is not weakness.

It is not resignation.

Admitting that we cannot control our emotions

is not a defeat—

it is the only real exit from their trap.

Because what keeps us suffering

is not the emotion itself,

but the fight against what is already here.

When we stop denying,

when we stop resisting,

something loosens.

And in that loosening,

freedom quietly begins.